How Paul taught me not to push It

It’s a funny old world, singledom.  I’ve written before about the various perks of not having a long-term partner – and there are a few of them!  I’m sure some of my friends are a bit jealous that I get to sit and listen to old records, whilst eating a takeaway curry, without having to worry about picking the kids up or cleaning for the in-laws visit at the weekend.  (No in-laws: also a benefit).   Obviously, though, I’d still like to meet someone.

I do ask friends for advice and the biggest tip I get is probably this – don’t force it.  Most people who struggle to meet new people tend to try and overdo it.  They’ll head out on the town and immediately start talking to every member of the opposite sex that they meet.  It’s tricky trying to get that combination of confidence and chattiness without seeming too desperate!

I think, however, that there might be something in it.  I only say so because, recently, Paul (a guy I work with and sometimes have a few beers with) seems to have met the right person.  You can always tell when someone meets the right person because, rather than rant and rave about whether they’re right, they basically disappear for weeks at a time, only emerging for work and food.  When pressed about the new relationship, they all just say “Yeah, I’m happy” and that’s about it!

Paul, interestingly, was always telling me before about how desperate he was for a partner.  He constantly went out to nightclubs and was always getting friends to set him up on blind dates.  I’ve never seen anyone that committed to meeting someone.  Somehow, though, it always ended up going wrong for one reason or another.

A week before he met Lucy (his new lady – that’s the only information about her I’ve managed to get from him so far) he said to me that he was done.  “Steve, that’s me finished with trying to date.  I’m going to focus on this book” (he’s an aspiring novelist) “so stop worrying.”

Literally a week later, he meets the girl of his dreams.  It makes you wonder, doesn’t it?

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